Nothing has changed since I turned 30. I did have a good birthday. Several issues I must solve right now. First, what's up with the miserable hours and hourly rates from my company? I have to confront them more directly about this situation. This is not acceptable. I'm leaning towards this being a genuinely difficult… Continue reading 30: more testosterone, please.
Blog Feed
none of your f*** business
Chinese, or broadly Chinese people have a horrible, horrible habit. They cannot mind their own. fucking. business. I know I am gullible and am easily manipulated. Such are my own problems. But due to these problems, I'm also more prone to being a victim of this culture. Whenever people ask me, "Watcha doing recently?" I… Continue reading none of your f*** business
Did I not…
Recently I've been thinking, Did I not treat people well enough? What did I do wrong? It seems to me that people here in Taiwan are always overly critical of your life choices. Whatever you tell them, you'll be met by the response, "Oh, but why don't you do this or that instead?" On top… Continue reading Did I not…
Cambell’s law
Anything that can be measured and rewarded can be gamed. Historian Jerry Muller
distraction from death
Life is still deeply unsatisfying, as usual. It's just that there are more distractions here. But still, that doesn't change the very essence of life. Maybe I just gotta live more for myself. In fact, perhaps everything is just a distraction from death.
Max Weber on Academia
Academic life is an utter gamble... when young students came to me to seek advice about qualifying as a lecturer, the responsibility of giving it is scarcely to be borne... [Students] must be asked to examine their conscience: Do you believe that you can bear to see one mediocrity after another being promoted over your… Continue reading Max Weber on Academia
Toni Morrison quote
It's important, therefore, to know who the real enemy is, and to know the function, the very serious function of racism, which is distraction. It keeps you explaining over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and so you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your… Continue reading Toni Morrison quote
Barack Obama quote
This idea of purity and you're never compromised and you're always politically woke, all that stuff... you should get over that quickly. The world is messy, there are ambiguities, people who do really good stuff have flaws, people who you're fighting may love their kids and share certain things with you, and I think that...… Continue reading Barack Obama quote
American Pastoral quote
How could their innocent foibles add up to this human being? Had none of this happened, had she stayed at home, finished high school, gone to college, there would have been problems, of course, big problems; she was precocious in her rebellion and there would have been problems even without a war in Vietnam. She… Continue reading American Pastoral quote
長大（四點的呢喃）
三十歲生日將近。我好像還沒有真正長大，但是周遭的人卻是迅速成長。 我指的成長，大多是情緒上的。好像，大家突然會發現自己喜歡什麼、喜歡和誰相處。而且那不是一瞬間的；是一點一點累積起來的，然後找了時間點一次釋放出來。只是，有釋放出來的那一方，必定就會有被那股能量打擊到的另一方。畢竟感情這種事（無論狹義或廣義）不可能沒有對象。 人們會鼓勵，要這樣那樣的面對自己的情緒、自己的感覺，卻從來沒有提到，當有人對你說了那些做了這些，你該怎麼回應？也許是出於方便，也許是出於懶散，或者更簡單的，出於理論需求，現在的趨勢都是「你得找到界線，而那個界線在於，他人的情緒就是他人的課題」。Along those lines. 真相是，這方法便捷，甚至可能正確，但是大多時候不符合人性。 我一直覺得感情的本質，是「詮釋的能力」。因為對這個人有了感情，有了某種連結，所以你會習慣性地把你們之間的互動收藏起來。也許是為了某種pure joy，但更多的是一種「保險」，讓你在無聊的時候可以想想當時的互動。不管是對人還是對物，所謂的「有了感情」，我想意思就是你選擇去不斷地重新詮釋你們倆的關係。對於無感的對象，基本上就是「冷凍」他在你腦中的那個第一印象就好了，因為基本上他不會再給你帶來趣味、你也毫無需要更認識對方的需求。 不過呢，感情是流動的。感情好的人，有可能慢慢淡化，退回某個固化的印象。「他就是這樣那樣的人」，意思是，「沒什麼特別的」。而感情普普通通的人，也只是在你心中印象暫時冷凍起來了而已，有一天再度產生連結的時候，要退冰也是很容易的。喜不喜歡這個人、想不想跟這個人維持感情，基本上就是一個選擇，選擇如何詮釋你倆的關係而已。 嗯，理論要怎麼講都可以。但我還沒長大，實在不知道如何處理實踐的問題。 四點了，今天寫到這。
Not An Avocado Life 